True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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