Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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