i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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