hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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