I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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