my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
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