I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Randomize