I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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