'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize