we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize