She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize