he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
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He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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