So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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