Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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