a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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