I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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