i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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