Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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