I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize