Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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