do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
they're like a gay fantastic four
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize