Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize