In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
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I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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