You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
well you can't waste a boner
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize