i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize