I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize