so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i would punch a child for taco bell
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
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It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
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Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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