the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize