I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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