I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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