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Christians are straight up FREAKS
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
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