i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize