i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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