He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
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As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
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My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
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