do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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