she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize