is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
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I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
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It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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