Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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