Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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