get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
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she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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