smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize