you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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