She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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