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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize