This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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