I hope mine doesn't look like that
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize