Plan B is the new Plan A
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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