and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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