I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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