Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
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I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
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New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize